WHEN YOUR FREEDOM TO BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE IS LIMITED BY YOURSELF

'It is a terrible and terrifying thing to know what you want to be and then realize you're the only one standing in your way - to want with every fiber of your soul to be someone different, to escape the "you" you've made of yourself, only to fall back into the self you hate, over and over again and over again. After the thrill of independence and experiments in self-actualization, drinking your so called "potential for Being" to the dregs, when the exhaustion starts to set in and then eventually morphs into a kind of self-disgust, you can reach a point where you know you want a different life but are enchained to the one you've made.'  

James KA Smith, On the Road with Saint Augustine, p.64. 

THE POWER OF ADDICTION

'Nothing is ever enough.

I have always been addicted to something. That something changes but the sense of need doesn't.'

Matt Haig, Notes on a Nervous Planet, p.233.

PAVLOV & PORNOGRAPHY

'...pornography works in the most basic of ways on the brain: It is Pavlovian. An orgasm is one of the biggest reinforcers imaginable. If you associate orgasm with your wife, a kiss, a scent, a body, that is what, over time, will turn you on; if you open your focus to an endless stream of ever-more-transgressive images of cybersex slaves, that is what it will take to turn you on. The ubiquity of sexual images does not free eros but dilutes it.' 

Naomi Wolf, 'The Porn Myth' in New York Magazine (20th October, 2003) via: http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437/index1.html 

RITUAL

'The purpose of any ritual is to deepen one's commitment, to move a person deeper into a certain view of the world. Addictive rituals also have this purpose, pushing a person deeper into the the addictive process.'  

Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality, p.44. 

THE NEED TO BE OUT OF CONTROL

'Addicts chase control - they believe they will find peace and happiness through total or perfect control. However, it's human to be imperfect and powerless, and chasing the illusion of control is really running away from the reality of being human. Addicts seek perfection instead of humanity.' 

Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality, p.33. 

INTENSITY VS. INTIMACY

'Emotionally, addicts get intensity and intimacy mixed up.'

Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality, p.15. 

ADDICTION & INTIMACY

'Addiction is an emotional relationship with an object or event, through which addicts try to meet their needs for intimacy.' 

Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior, p.8. 

NOT ALL SINS ARE DECISIONS

'...not all sins are decisions. Because we tend to be intellectualists who assume that we are thinking things, we construe temptation and sin accordingly: we think temptation is an intellectual reality, where some idea is presented to us that we then think about and make a conscious choice to pursue (or not). But once you realize that we are not just thinking things but creatures of habit, you'll then realize that temptation isn't just about bad ideas or wrong decisions; it's often a factor of de-formation and wrongly ordered habits. In other words, our sins aren't just discrete, wrong actions and bad decisions; they reflect vices. And overcoming them requires more than just knowledge; it requires re habituation, a reformation of our loves.' 

James KA Smith, You Are What You Love, p.54. 

LIFE IS THIRST

'Cavanaugh, lifting his wineglass, talked to it. "Life," he said. Then said, "Life is thirst." Nobody was listening. He drank his thirst.'

Leonard Michaels, The Men's Club, p.84. 

ADDICTION

'Addictions are complex, progressive and often disabling. But addictions are entered into voluntarily and often without much forethought. They do not begin with raging compulsion. But somehow mysteriously desire turns into compulsion and addicts lose a sense of their former identity. What drives the addiction is a longing for satisfaction. This desire for fulfillment runs deep in the human heart. Satisfaction, however, is not to be had simply anywhere or with anyone. It is part of the hardwiring of the human heart that satisfaction will be found in that which is finally good and true and beautiful, namely God.'  

Richard Lints, Identity and Idolatry, p.40.  

EMPATHY

'As if his anger had finally stripped all else away, suddenly Wheeler saw Uncle Peach as perhaps Dorie had always seen him - a poor, hurt, weak mortal, twice hurt because he knew himself to be hurt and weak and mortal.'

Wendell Berry, 'Thicker than Liquor' in That Distant Land, p.161.

LIQUOR

'Blood is thicker than liquor.'
Wendell Berry, 'Thicker than Liquor' in That Distant Land, p.150.