AN AUTHENTIC APOLOGY

'How can you tell the difference between an apology and a simple concession? An authentic apology, especially when it is offered in response to significant and long-term harm, will be so clearly distinct from every prior experience that it will be unquestionably received. It will appear like a flash of light in a darkened room, like an exploding clap of thunder in the dead of night, like the unveiling of a hidden treasure, like a resurrection from the dead - not because of any of the apologizer's qualities but because of the innate power of truth.'

Wade Mullen, Something's Not Right, p.131.

A CHRISTIAN'S STATUS WITH GOD

'O remember what my substance is,
the work of Thy hands,
the likeness of Thy countenance,
the reward of Thy blood,
a name from Thy name,
a sheep of Thy pasture,
a son of Thy covenant.'
Lancelot Andrewes, Private Devotion, p.68. 

CONFESSION IN WORSHIP

'The body of Christ is that unique community of practice whose members own up to the fact that we don't always love what we say we do - that the "devices and desires" of our hearts outstrip our best intentions. The practices of Christian worship are a tangible, practiced, re-formative way to address this tension and gap.' 

James KA Smith, You Are What You Love, p.30. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF TESTIMONY

'...public testimony of God;s work in our lives should be a regular and central part of the church's common worship. An honest account of someone's personal journey, including the struggles, uncertainties, and successes, provides hope for those listening as well as a narrative map of how God works out his restoration in human lives. Furthermore, testimony acts as a form of confession, a uniquely Christian idea in which sin is brought into the open and shown to be redeemable within the gospel story. This sort of testimonial confession is only for the sake of the speaker but also plays an important redemptive-formative role within the gathered community; it runs counter to the pervasive secular narrative that trains us to manage and edit our personal stories, hiding weaknesses and any other signs of failure from public view.' 

Jonathan Grant, Divine Sex, p.204. 

ACCOUNTABILITY

'The responsibility to confess sin and expose the darkness lies with the person who has committed the sin. It's not the job of spiritual mentors to to go on a spiritual fishing expedition to reel in a confession from those those they are trying to help. A person passively waiting to provide answers to specific questions is in a far different place spiritually than a person who is willing to take the initiative to expose their struggles in the pure light of day. In other words, keep the responsibility where it belongs and simply invite the person to share where they have sinned and need help.' 

Heath Lambert, Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace, p.54. 

PREACHING

'A minister who talks in the pulpit about his own personal problems is of no help to his congregation, for no suffering human being is helped by someone who tells him that he has the same problems. Remarks such as, "Don't worry because I suffer from the same depression, confusion and anxiety as you do," help no one. This spiritual exhibitionism adds little faith to little faith and creates narrow-mindedness, instead of new perspective. Open wounds stink and do not heal.

Making one's own wounds a source of healing, therefore, does not call for a sharing of superficial personal pains but for a constant willingness to see one's own pain and suffering as rising from the depth of the human condition which all men share.'

Henri JM Nouwen, The Wounded Healer, p.88.

CONFESSION

'Confession to another person is not a way to artificially unload guilt. The one who hears your confession is not a priest who will grant absolution. The reason you confess something private is to test your own heart. It is also a way to close the door to one of Satan's condemnatory devices. Satan delights in keeping things in the dark, where they can accumulate more condemnation, but we can do battle by keeping our lives in the light.'

Edward T Welch, Running Scared, p.227.

PRIDE

'The mind and flesh of a man are set on fire by pride; for it is precisely in his wickedness that man wants to be as God. Confession in the presence of a brother is the profoundest kind of humiliation. It hurts, it cuts a man down, it is a dreadful blow to pride. '

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p.89.

CONFESSION

'In confession the break-through to community takes place. Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light. In the darkness of the unexpressed it poisons the whole being of a person. This can happen even in the midst of a pious community. In confession the light of the Gospel breaks into the darkness and seclusion of the heart. The sin must be brought into the light. The unexpressed must be openly spoken and acknowledged. All that is secret and hidden is made manifest. It is a hard struggle until the sin is openly admitted. But God breaks gates of brass and bars of iron (Ps.107.16).'

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p.88.

SIN & CHRISTIANS

'"Confess your faults to one another" (James 5.16). He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone. It may be that Christians, notwithstanding corporate worship, may be still left to their loneliness. The final break-through to fellowship does not occur, because, though they have fellowship with one another as believers and as devout people, they do not have fellowship as the undevout, as sinners. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is that we are sinners.

But it is the grace of the Gospel, which is so hard for the pious to understand, that confronts us with the truth and says: You are a sinner, a great, desperate sinner; now come as the sinner that you are, to God who loves you. He wants you as you are; he does not want anything from you, a sacrifice, a work; he wants you alone. "My son, give me thine heart' (Prov.23.26). God has come to you to save the sinner. Be glad! This message is liberation through truth. You can hide nothing from God. The mask you wear before men will do you no good before him. He wants to see you as you are, he wants to be gracious to you. You do not have to go on lying to yourself and your brothers, as if you were without sin; you can dare to be a sinner. Thank God for that; he loves the sinner but hates the sin.'

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p.86.