AFFIRMATION

'Affirmation is genuine appreciation, expressed quietly to another person, for what they have done. It is standing alongside someone who has been criticized. If the criticism was deserved, affirmation lets them know that you still believe in them; and if not, that they should ignore it and confidently get on with life. Affirmation is that thoughtful word, expressed in person, on the phone or by letter, that demonstrates how helped you were by your brother or sister.'

Peter Brain, Going the Distance, p.148.

ANGER & CHURCH

'Since we are called to work out our discipleship in these close relationships, it should not surprise us in the least that anger-producing situations will be close at hand as we seek to minister together. Working with people takes time and energy, and the resulting tiredness can easily cause anger. Mutual ministry means that we want people to express their opinions and make their contribution. This too can lead to friction. Since we want to encourage mature participation and not just a group of people who are yes-men (or women), we need to be able to handle anger, not to avoid or discourage people from expressing their opinion.

If anger is totally out of place in a Christian community, it will be "bad form" to express any contrary view, lest it lead to differences of opinion, which may cause anger. "Arms-length fellowship" is the only possible outcome. In this kind of fellowship, relationships become formal and polite, and superficial fellowship replaces close personal interaction. The source of life and vitality has been removed.'

Peter Brain, Going the Distance, p.86.

GRIEF

'...learning of contentment and trust in God's sovereignty and faithfulness can help us face loss when it comes, whether through happy or unhappy, expected or unexpected, circumstances. None of this is meant for a moment to downplay the loss of people or things in our lives, but in so far as we are detached from them as reasons for living, and attached to our Lord, we will be better able to face their loss and move through the resultant grieving process.'

Peter Brain, Going the Distance p.73.

DEPRESSION

'...depression can be seen as having a very positive potential; indeed it is part of the way God has made us. It is, in reality, a part of our body's "early warning system," alerting us to the fact that something is wrong and needs to be dealt with. We may need to slow down, seek medical treatment, turn to God in repentance or allow the grieving process to take its course. Depression may be an agent used by God for our sanity (where depression is a response to loss), or our sanctification (if there is a sinful act or attitude involved). For every loss situation there is an appropriate amount of depression.'

Peter Brain, Going the Distance: How to stay fit for a lifetime of ministry, p.70.