THE DANGER OF REGRETTING DECISIONS

'"If I knew then what I know now, I never would have made this commitment" is the phrase I have heard from celibate and married people alike. It strikes me that every decision and commitment is, in the light of subsequent information and experience, ill-informed. That's just the way life is. Whether we would or would not "do it again" is hardly the point. The point is whether or not we are actively pursuing the fulfillment of the commitment we have made. When we begin to concentrate on what our life isn't, and neglect to reflect on and actively pursue what it is, trouble will almost certainly follow.' 

Keith Clark, An Experience of Celibacy, p.58. 

INTIMACY

'True human intimacy is the fusion of personalities that still leaves all personalities intact. If in the privacy of my lonely moments I can remain in contact with my limited, unique, separate and incomplete self, I am prepared to enter into life's moments of intimacy.'

Keith Clark, An Experience of Celibacy, p.36. 

LONELINESS

'Life has its moments of loneliness. Sometimes we experience them in a crowd; sometimes when all alone. Sometimes those moments are deliberately chosen; sometimes they seem forced upon us. Loneliness can become unhealthy and even neurotic if it is not entered into in a healthy way, or if it aggravated by fear, guilt, anxiety, depression, alienation, self-doubt or hostility. But in and of itself, loneliness is simply one of life's moments.'  

Keith Clark, An Experience of Celibacy, p.27.  

INTIMACY

'Life has moments of intimacy. Sometimes they are accompanied by great affection, sometimes not. Sometimes they are pleasant, sometimes sad. Sometimes they are sexual, sometimes not. Sometimes they are romantic, sometimes not. As often as two or more persons are intentionally transparent to one another in a way which brings their personalities together without obliterating any of them, there is intimacy. The moments come and go; the capacity for intimacy remains. Moments of intimacy are always satisfying in some way, but they are always incomplete. Even when they are very satisfying in the joy of the moment, they are incomplete in that the moment ends. Other concerns of life teach each sharer of the intimacy into other p[pursuits with other people. But intimacy is one of life's moments.'

Keith Clark, An Experience of Celibacy, p.25.  

INTIMACY, LONELINESS, HOSTILITY, ALIENATION

'Intimacy seems to me to be a moment of being with another and enjoying it; loneliness seems like a moment of being separated from others when I would like to be with them. Hostility and alienation seem like moments of being against others and in some way enjoying it, or of experiencing others being against me and not enjoying it. Loneliness and intimacy seem like unavoidable moments of life for normal people. Hostility and alienation seem like unnatural human experiences, even though we might experience them often in our lives.' 

Keith Clark, An Experience of Celibacy: A creative reflection on intimacy, loneliness, sexuality and commitment, p.20. 

CHANGE

'...people only accept change when they are faced with necessity, and only recognize necessity when a crisis is upon them.'

Jean Monnet in John McCormick, Why Europe Matters for Britain: The Case for Remaining In p.12. 

THE PAST

'We can ask and ask but we can't have again what once seemed ours for ever - the way things looked, that church alone in the fields, a bed on a belfry floor, a remembered voice, the touch of a hand, a loved face. They've gone and you can only wait for the pain to pass.' 

JL Carr, A Month in the Country, p.85. 

THE POLITICS OF VILLAGE CHURCHES

'Every week that passes, you can bet your life that, somewhere in this land, there's a first-class row bubbling up about what someone wants in and someone else wants out of a village church.' 

JL Carr, A Month in the Country, p.27. 

NOT A CONVERSATION TOPIC

'Our church culture inadvertently communicates that preachers can talk publicly about sin, and a men's group convened to deal with pornography can talk about it, but as a general rule, it is impolite to talk about sin one to one.' 

Edward T Welch, Side by Side, p.133. 

SPIRITUAL POWER

'Spiritual power feels like a struggle, or weakness, or neediness, or desperation. It is simply "I need Jesus," which is the most powerful thing we can say.' 

Edward T Welch, Side by Side: Walking with others in wisdom and love, p.45.