'Another aphorism that should be chucked is "You must love yourself before you love others." A mountain of research shows that people who have good relationships with other people are happier and less depressed - and have higher self-esteem. The idea that self-esteem rises fully formed and perfect from inside the individual is a complete myth. We develop our sense of ourselves primarily from interacting with others. There is nothing wrong with this. Not only that, but narcissists - people who really love themsleves - are horrible relationships partners. Self-centred people are rarely fun to be around, and we all know this. So why do we keep telling people to love themselves first before others? Beats me. An aphorism that makes more a lot more sense, to modernize John Donne, is "No one is an island."'
Jean M Twenge, Generation Me, p.227.
