'A friend should sympathize with and make allowance for a friend. He should consider his friend's fault his own. He should correct his friend with humility and compassion. His face and voice should show sadness and disappointment , with sobs interrupting his words. His friend should not only see but feel that the correction comes not fout of rancour but out of love.'
Aelred of Rievaulx, Spiritual Friendship, p.117.