'...the Bible tells us to intrude - or rather, the Bible tells us that talking to one another about what is really going on in our lives is in fact not an intrusion at all, because what's going on in my life is already your concern; by dint of the baptism that made me your sister, my joys are your joys and my crises are your crises. We are called to speak to one another lovingly, to be sure, and with edifying, rather than gossipy, or hurtful, goals. But we are called nonetheless to transform seemingly private matters into communal matters. Of course, premarital sexual behaviour is just one of many examples of this larger point. Christians also need to speak courageously and transparently, for example, about the seemingly private matters of Christian marriage - there would be, I suspect, a lot fewer divorces in the church if married Christians exposed their domestic lives, their fights and tensions and squabbles, to loving wisdom, advice, and sometimes rebuke from their community. Christians might claim less credit-card debt if small group members shared their bank account statements with one another. I suspect that if my best friend had persmission to scrutinize my Day-timer, I would inhabit time better. Speaking to one another about your sexual selves is just one (admittedly risky) instance of a larger piece of Christian discipleship: being community with each other.'
Lauren F Winner, Real Sex: the naked truth about chastity, p.53.
