'People who love you often focus exclusively on "the problem." they ask about "the problem." They pray that God would solve "the problem." They offer advice for solving "then problem." They care for you! These are well-meaning attempts to be helpful. But the effect can be unkind. For example, many significant sufferings have no remedy until the day when all tears are wiped away. Your disease or disability is incurable. The injustice will not be remedied in your lifetime. You loved one is dead. The marriage is over. The money is gone. There may be partial helps along the way. There may be partial redemptions. There will be no fix. Often the biggest problem for any sufferer is not "the problem." It is the spiritual challenge the problem presents: "How are you doing in the midst of what you are going through? What are you learning? Where are you failing? Where do you need encouragement? Will you learn to live well and wisely with pain, limitation, weakness, and loss? Will suffering define you? Will faith and love grow, or will you shrivel up?" These are life-and-death issues - more important than "the problem" in the final analysis. They take asking, thinking, listening, responding. They take time. Other people are often clumsy and uncomprehending about the most important things, while pouring energy and love into the insoluble.'
David Powlison, 'God's Grace and Your Sufferings' in Piper & Taylor, Suffering and the Sovereignty of God, p.156.
