'...how shall we distinguish flattery from affirmation? While affirmation commends virtues, flattery exagerates them, glosses over flaws, offers excessive input, and is insincere, not chiefly interested in building up the recipient in Christlikeness, but interested chiefly in obtaining some kind of direct favor. Healthy affirmation does not exagerate or schmooze. Having affirmed, the affirmer can walk away with no expectation of receiving anythiung from the recipient. A good affirmer...looks to God for his reward. In contrast, there is a thread of seduction in flattery. The flatterer is after something from the flattered. While affirmation is a free gift with no strings attached and trusts God to bring about whatever good harvest he wishes to bring from the seed planted, flattery is a bribe, and a direct return is expected - soon.
Godly affirmation approves of Christlikeness and disapproves of anything contrary, whereas the flatterer approves anything - Christlike or not - that may achieve the desired response.'
Sam Crabtree, Practicing Affirmation, p.108.
