'The wisest of counsellors have pointed out three general steps in maturity: 1) the dependence of infancy; 2) the independence of adolescence; and 3) the creative dependence of mature love, when one is able to take the risk of allowing a dependence to develop with control of or by another.
There seems to be some dynamic in us all that resists ever needing, or being in any way dependent on, another. It is the cause of much of our loneliness, and our shallow and inadequate friendships. The neurotic urge to control other people - spouses, children, employees, friends - has led therapists to make a technical term of the word "control."'
C FitzSimmons Allison, The Cruelty of Heresy, p.91.