'...ten myths that have emerged from common sexual and relationship scripts. (We are, however, not personally contesting or endorsing these myths). We can them myths not so much because they're categorically untrue. We call them myths because the empirical data from surveys and interviews suggests they aren't true most of the time. In other words, these ten myths may be believed by many emerging-adult men and women, but the evidence supporting them just isn't there.' (p.242)
- 'Long term exclusivity is a fiction.' 'When we ask our students in class how long half of all marriages last, they fumble around for a response, guessing five years, or seven, or 10 tops. Their minds, of course, are focused on the average time-until-divorce. But the answer, which never occurs to them is a lifetime.' (p.242)
- 'The introduction of sex is necessary in order to sustain a fledgling or struggling relationship.' 'Most relationships fail, and the sooner relationships become sexual, the greater their odds of failure.' (p.243).
- 'The sexual double standard is inherently wrong and must be resisted by any means.' 'The double standard in sex is real and quite durable, and there's only effective way to resist it - and that is for women to attempt to feel and think and pursue sex like men.' (p.244).
- 'Boys will be boys. That is, men can't be expected to abide by sexual terms that women may wish to set.' 'The reality, however, is that this scenario is not fixed. Men will live up to - or down to - the expectations placed upon them.' (p.244)
- 'It doesn't matter what other people do sexually; you make your own decisions.' 'Other people's sexual choices matter. Collectively they function as a powerful constraint on our own behaviour.' (p.245).
- 'Porn won't affect your relationships' '...porn's effect on the wider sexual market and its norms affect most Americans under 50, whether they're married or not.' (p.246).
- 'Everyone else is having more sex than you are.' '...the average numbers of sexual partners emerging adults have are not as high as many imagine.' (p.247).
- 'Sex need not mean anything.' 'This myth might not be a myth for you if you own a set of XY chromosomes. But if you're an XX, the odds are against it.' (p.247).
- 'Marriage can always wait.' 'Many lose sight of the fact - or more commonly, realize too late - that there is a marriage market out there, just like there's a sexual market. It's a pool that does not grow deeper and more impressive with age.' (p.249).
- 'Moving in together is definitely a step toward marriage.' '...cohabitation is still about uncertainty and risk management for both men and women.' (p.250)
Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, Premarital Sex in America, p.242-250.
