'As we have abandoned extended families and larger social organizations such as the church as our primary communities, we have simultaneously replaced them with smaller affinity groups, such as the gym, work colleagues, wine clubs, niche or single generation churches, and even marriages. They can all become "lifestyle enclaves."
These small voluntary associations enable us to us to pick and choose our own values, allowing us to reconcile the contradictory desires for autonomy and community. In other words, we choose to be with people we like, people we are comfortable with...people like us.'
Jonathan Grant, Divine Sex, p.66.